Maiden Mother Crone
The Journey from the Maiden to Mother Archetype
Ever since I was a little girl I have enjoyed acting out characters, myths and stories. I could spend hours outside in my imagination. I was very “method acting” in my play! My parents had to hide the scissors in my house because I was constantly trying to cut my hair short like my favorite cartoon character, April, from The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show.
(See the resemblance? 🤣)
Now as an adult I still turn to characters and stories to understand myself and the world better. Recently I have been called to explore the ancient Maiden, Mother, Crone archetypes.
As I write about these archetypes, I’ll be using more binary languaging, but I think it is important to say that you can identify as any gender expression to work with the archetypes. You can also rename them to something that works for you! I also want to acknowledge that the journey to motherhood, relationships with moms or the loss of your mom can be a sensitive topic for folks, so sending lots of love and care if that is you ♥️
When looking at “archetypes” through the work of psychoanalyst Carl Jung, Maiden, Mother, Crone, are not just images, but are deeper unconscious and universal patterns and experiences that live in all of us. Here is a little overview of the archetypes:
Maiden -Represents the young blossoming woman, who is still discovering herself and courting potential suiters. Yes I said “courting” and “suiters”sounds better than dating 🤣 and feels very maiden to me. The maiden is connected with youth, beginnings and freedom. She is blossoming into her identity and trying on different things! She is aligned with the season of spring 🌷 and the waxing moon phase.
Mother- The creator, the nurturer, protector, she holds a grounded and secure energy. The mother represents fertility both literally and creatively.You do not have to have a child to be in the mother archetype. The mother is a fierce and wild creator, not giving up or letting any one get in her way. The mother is connected to the season of summer and the full moon 🌕
Crone The wise one 🦉 who holds ancient and alchemical wisdom in her bones, in other words, a woman who has seen some shit! Someone to go to for advice and sit with a cup a tea 🫖 or a shot of whiskey 🥃 The crone represents endings, transformation and the unseen. The Crone is connected to the season of winter and the waning moon.
Maiden, Mother, Crone are also known as the “Triple Goddess” in pagan traditions. In Robert Grave’s The White Goddess he writes about the archetypes as the '“trinity of female forms” and viewed the triple goddess as a muse for poetry and art.
“The reason why the hairs stand on end, the skin crawls and the eyes water when one writes a true poem is that a true poem is necessarily an invocation of the White Goddess, or Muse, the Mother of All Living, the ancient power of fright and lust—the female spider or the queen-bee whose embrace is death.”
— The White Goddess, Faber & Faber edition, 1948
Spider web on the Sammamish River Trail, WA
I love that the Triple Goddess is the “muse” and embodies art, beauty, power and death. This spider web in the sunlight ☀️I saw the other day on my walk, gives me “goddess power” vibes!
I discovered these archetypes through my own healing journey and being a part of the Moon Club and Radical Awakenings communities led by Alexandra Roxo and Ruby Warrington where we often explored many different archetypes. Through my studies in drama therapy, I have been looking at Maiden, Mother, Crone through a therapeutic lens and diving into Jungian psychology. Carl Jung worked with the “collective unconscious” which are universal themes, symbols, dreams, relationships and stories that we all are connected with. Jung named the feminine and masculine “anima and animus” and believed they were collectively a part of all of us. Jung believed we could work with these archetypes to help us better understand ourselves, our unconscious and how we relate to the world.
Writer and Jungian psychoanalyst, Clarissa Pinkola Estés, goes deeper into the feminine archetypes in her iconic book Women Who Run with the Wolves. The book explores different feminine archetypes through myths and stories. Este’s guides us through the characters journey and psyche. You can’t help but put yourself in the characters shoes and see parts of yourself reflected in the stories. This book holds so much depth and wisdom that I continue to learn, liberate and heal myself through reading it. I feel seen in the myths and I’m reminded that my wild and creative side should be nurtured, not tamed and subdued to fit in to the “norm”. The book lives by my bed stand 💖
The Maiden, Mother, Crone archetypes hold so much power and complexity in each and gives us permission to do the same. We don’t have to be one thing, we can hold multiple identities, energies and dreams. One of my intentions in writing this is to explore the transition from one archetype to another and how to integrate both of them into my current self. A ritual of sorts to honor the Maiden and welcome the Mother. Through my work in the theatre, drama therapy and Moon Club/Radical Awakenings, I have cultivated a deep love and reverence for ritual. Ritual can be many different things to different people, but we all partake in some form of ritual in our lives.
“Ritual, the performance of ceremonial acts prescribed by tradition or by sacerdotal decree. Ritual is a specific, observable mode of behavior exhibited by all known societies. It is thus possible to view ritual as a way of defining or describing humans.” —Britannica
I personally love creating my own rituals to mark and give weight to things in my life. It can be as simple as lighting a candle in the morning and blowing it out with intention as I leave the house for the day. It can also be in community with folks gathering under a full moon 🌕 to share stories and release what is heavy on our hearts. Ritual helps me create depth, meaning and expression into sometimes monotonous and busy days. When I start to feel disconnected from myself and others, I know that if I can engage in a meaningful ritual, I’ll start to find my footing again. I call back my soulful, wild, raw self.
Writing is a ritual I have had since I was a little girl spilling my guts out in my pink heart 💗 diary. The act of writing this piece is a ritual in honoring the Triple Goddess within me.
I have been in the Maiden to Mother transition for awhile now. I am definitely in the Mother archetype but in my mind I still see myself as the Maiden. I’m working on releasing some of the Maiden patterning I have been holding onto. I don’t want to shame her, but kiss her on the forehead, give her a big hug and let her know she will always be a part of me but that parts of her can be released.
The Maiden is hard to let go of in a world that is obsessed with looking young at all costs (watch the movie The Substance it portrays this perfectly ) and a government that is actively taking away social security from our elders. Why would I want to say goodbye to my youthful self? Because parts of her is holding me back. I’m still holding on to some of her fear of expansion and abundance. I’m also starting to dwell on the past. I have been comparing my current self to her. I have been comparing my current body to hers and getting sad that she didn’t see herself how I see her now. I’m also jealous of her freedom, her wild nights and not having a care for the future! I miss the world she lived in, where the internet wasn’t on our phones and reading a book from beginning to end wasn’t so damn hard!
But I am so proud of her for pursuing her dreams! Leaving home in California and moving to both Seattle and NY was scary. It took courage, bravery and a whole lot of belief in herself! I still can’t believe I spent 11 years in the big apple 🍎
If only she knew how beautiful and talented she was….. is!! That Maiden self is me and will always be a part of me, I just need to learn how to integrate her into this new phase in life… Mother.
Holding my nephew when he was little 💛
It’s funny, I have been an early childhood teacher for over 15 years! I’ve taken care of a lot of little ones and still do, but I have trouble imagining myself as a mother. Sometimes I think it is because of my job, always being around kids, I have seen too much 🤣 But there have been plenty of times, when I was helping a student and could imagine doing this for my own little one.
Mermaids, Chocolat, Drop Dead Gorgeous and Harry Potter
I love these movie mom characters! They are strong, complex, smart, unique, fun, warm, funny, flawed and loving in their own ways. When I think of myself as a mom or in the Mother Archetype I want to embody these qualities.
I of course will always look to my own mother for inspiration. A woman who embodies those qualities and more! She raised three kids with so much patience, kindness, support and fierce love. Love you mom 💗
“To mother others means to bring them into the wild and to bring the wild into them.”
— Women Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés
At times I have felt like I wanted to skip Mother and go straight to Crone! To be the wise woman in the woods, walking in the forest to the beat of her own rhythm, feeding the birds, talking to the trees and collecting rocks.
“Randy (Plainfield, VT)” from Frances F. Denny’s series Major Arcana: Witches in America
But then I think of the earth mommas walking barefoot in the grass with their little ones in a sling and I can imagine myself in her shoes. I’m also intrigued by the experience of giving birth, which I imagine is terrifying, painful and yet absolutely magical all at the same time.
I don’t write about my past experiences of pregnancy often. Unfortunately in our world there is still so much hatred toward women and a woman’s right to choose. There is also a lot of shame and stigma around abortion and miscarriages. Last year I sadly had a miscarriage. Everything happened so fast, both the pregnancy and then the loss, that it has taken me awhile to process it. It was heart breaking and at the same time I trusted that what was meant to be will be. I’ve had to work through feelings of guilt and thinking it was something I had done that caused it, even though I knew it wasn’t my fault.
“As many as half of pregnancies that end in miscarriage and stillbirth have no explanation. And stigma and shame keep many people who experience miscarriage from discussing it.” PBS News
I was very grateful to all the women who shared their miscarriage stories with me, to my doctor for supporting me through it and of course my amazing husband.
We are now in a space where we are trying again. I’m working on releasing fear, trying to stay positive or at least neutral and still hopeful. Lots of feelings! There are times when I struggle and I do let fear and shame get the best of me and say things to myself like “ I’m too fat, too old, I used to drink too much, I’m too much of this and too little of that.” I have to tell that voice to shut up and take a hike! And practice patience, love and care.
I feel very lucky to have a lot of amazing friends and family in my life that are supporting me on this journey. Friends sent flowers and the candle, in the picture, after my miscarriage. The candle was a comfort to me, this Leo Sun ☀️ loves a good candle, I would light it and remember to trust my path. The candle title also reminded be of both “This Little Light of Mine and this beautiful song “This Little Life” by Cordelia that I still listen to it when I need to practice gratitude.
“The mother archetype forms the foundation of the most fundamental human relationships… but it is not limited to actual mothers.” -Carl Jung
I am learning on this journey that everyones path to motherhood, if they choose, is unique and sacred. And we can still support one another no matter how different our paths are. I also honor that the Mother archetype doesn't have to mean having a child. There are women in my life who have been there for me, mentored and cared for me, who don’t have kids and I feel so lucky to have them in my life.
Ruby Warrington’s Women without Kids book opening with Rachel Cargle
Both of these amazing people support other women who don’t have kids. Ruby Warrington is a woman I admire and look up to. She has been a mentor to me both in becoming sober curious (she coined the term and wrote the book on it) as well as helping me to better understand my relationship to the Mother archetype through her book Women Without Kids. I’m actually quoted in the book, from a survey that I took for her research on the topic.
My quote at the top
I still resonate with my quote 💛 I can see my life with or without a child. Currently, I don’t feel like my life is any less because I don’t have one. My life so far has been filled with creativity, fun, lots of love and adventure and I know that will continue whether I have a child or not.
“You don’t have to have children to live the Mother archetype—you can give birth to art, to healing, to new consciousness.” - Conscious Femininity, Marion Woodman
You don’t need to be a parent to embody the Mother archetype. It is an energy of creation, care, and fierce protection that can be expressed in your art, relationships, activism and self healing. I love the name Creatrix for this energy! You can nurture your inner child, your dreams and your community. We know there is a lot of care that is needed in our world right now!
There is more to say about all these archetypes, I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface. There is so much complexity within each that I am sure I missed a lot. I’d love to write more on how mothers are not valued in our world and women’s rights in general. I also thought of the intergenerational theatre project The Gift that I did with my company The Journey Theatre Project and how we explored a lot of the archetypal themes with girls and women of all ages.
Although it is tough at times, I am excited to continue to process, love and grow within each one!
Maiden/Mother
If you are interested in learning more about these archetypes I recommend Clarissa Pinkola Estés book Women Who Run with the Wolves and also the work of Marion Woodman. For myths, stories and archetypes from the Celtic and Irish backgrounds, I recommend both Marisa Goudy’s and Jennifer Murphy. I encourage you to do your own research on the archetypes that relate to your ancestry and background.
To end, I’ll leave you with some letters I wrote from my Maiden and Mother selves. Feel free to do this as well, for any archetype you are in!
Thank you for reading 💞 Please comment, ask questions and share with anyone you think would resonate with this.